Children and Grief

Common Questions of Children

1. Did I cause the death to happen?
   Children often think that they have magical powers. If a mother says in irritation, "You'll be the death of me" and later dies, her child may wonder if he or she actually caused the mother's death. Also, when children argue, one may say (or think), "I wish you were dead." Should that child die, the surviving child may think that his or her thoughts actually caused the death.


2. Is it going to happen to me?
   The death of another child may be especially hard for a child. If the child thinks that the death may have been prevented (by either a parent or a doctor) the child may think that he or she could also die.


3. Who is going to take care of me?
   Since children depend on parents and other adults to take care of them, a grieving child may wonder who will care for him or her after the death of an important person.