Adults and Grief

Phases of Grief

1. Numbness: This reaction often follows the death of a loved one and may last up to 10 days. People who experience emotional numbness say they have a sense of being paralyzed, distant, and removed from one's feelings of grief. Some say such numbing is the body's mechanism for protecting itself from being overwhelmed by the shock of the loss.


2. Denial and Isolation: In this stage, the person experiencing grief and bereavement has significant difficulty accepting the reality of their loss. It may be expressed in more severe forms as a complete denial of the death or in less severe forms in lapses of thinking and behaving as if the person hadn't really died. While complete acceptance is part of the work of the entire grief process, the initial more acute difficulties with acceptance are included in this phase.


3. Anger: In this phase, the grieving person feels anger with the world, fate, God, or people in their lives. He or she may ask, "Why me?" and/or "Why not someone else?" give a flavor of this phase. Bargaining with God for the return of the dead person may be part of this phase.


4. Depression: As time passes, grieving individuals experience acknowledgement and acceptance of the loss. The reality of life after the loss grows; sadness and depression become more present.


5. Acceptance: The bereaved person comes to terms with the loss, and is able to move on to re-invest in the new life that lies ahead. They experience fewer extremes of emotion.