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Children and Grief
Children Ages 9 and Up
By the time a child is 9, death is known to be unavoidable and is not seen as a punishment. By the time a child is 12, death is seen as final and something that happens to everyone.
In American society, many grieving adults withdraw and do not talk to others. Children, however, often talk to the people around them (even strangers) to see the reactions of others and to get clues for their own responses.
Children may ask confusing questions. For example, a child may ask "I know grandpa died, but when will he come home?" This is a way of testing reality and making sure the story of the death has not changed.
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